


antlers

by deputyydipshit



Series: the necklace [1]
Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:34:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25023232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deputyydipshit/pseuds/deputyydipshit
Summary: Nicole finds support in her missing maybe kind of fiancé's jewelry.
Relationships: Wynonna Earp & Nicole Haught
Series: the necklace [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1979740
Comments: 3
Kudos: 67





	antlers

Nicole sat on the edge of Waverly’s bed with her elbows on her knees and her utility belt in her hand. The weight of the gun caused the belt to swing silently in the quiet air around her, her eyes following the moving weapon. She’d lost track of how long she had been sitting there, not noticing the sun had long since set and night blanketing the town. Her world was quiet, too quiet in fact, and there was not a damn thing she could do about it. Waverly was gone and it felt like her heart had gone as well. Nicole found herself to be lacking most emotions, finding solace in being alone and swiping through old pictures on her phone.

The selfies Waverly had taken. The pictures Waverly had taken of an off guard Nicole. The pictures of the two of them together.

Seeing her face, Watching as Waverly gradually became more comfortable with herself in their pictures, both filled and shattered Nicole’s heart. Waverly had struggled with self-acceptance and confidence for as long as she could remember, and Nicole knew that she was her own worst enemy. She couldn’t help but think about the horrible things probably running through Waverly’s mind at the moment, trapped alone in a place no one knew how to get to.

Not even Waverly’s moon eyes and eye crinkles could pull Nicole back above the water. Not after knowing what she could have done to prevent this from happening, not after realizing that she could have saved Waverly. Maybe her parents were right when they told her being an officer wasn’t the path she was meant to follow, maybe they were right in saying she could do better.

_ She needed to be better. _

Waverly was the one thing she vowed to protect at all costs, even if it left her in the hospital with venom running through her veins or being thrown against the barn wall trying to talk the demon out of her. Waverly was the one thing she promised Wynonna she would never let go, and the one thing she promised would always be safe. And what did she do? Neither of those things.

“What a fucking hoser.” Nicole scoffed and dropped the belt. Her gun clattered to the floor as her handcuffs and walkie talkie fell from their respective places.

“You talking about me again?” Wynonna asked from the doorway, head leaning against the wood.

“Wish I was.” Nicole mumbled.

“Well then, the least you can do while staying here is be nice to yourself. We’ve had enough personal demon attacks for one lifetime.” Wynonna took a few steps into the room before she stopped and watched her friend. “Also, watch the wood floors, would you? This house may be old but we aren’t cavemen.”

Nicole gave a humorless chuckle and shook her head. “How much longer are you going to insist I stay here, exactly?”

“Until I don’t need to worry about you firing your gun at your cat again.”

“Calamity sounded like an intruder. She was making more noise than usual and it freaked me out.” Nicole defended herself.

“You nearly shot her, Nicole. You shouldn’t be alone.”

Wynonna has convinced Nicole that being alone wasn’t good for her mental health and had insisted she stay on the Homestead with her. She wasn’t exactly sure what good it would do since the two of them couldn’t go more than two days without having an argument, but Nicole knew better than to go up against an Earp. So, she packed her bags, grabbed her cat, and took the cruiser to the home of her missing girlfriend and her sister. Her sister who had drugged her and left her for dead on the kitchen floor.

She slept in Waverly’s room because it was her only option next to the couch. Wynonna thought it might do her some good to sleep in a familiar bed, surrounded by familiar senses and smells. Nicole was doing fine on the outside but Wynonna knew she was completely breaking on the inside, so when Nicole didn’t even put up a fight when Wynonna brought her things to Waverly room, she knew it was the right choice.

“Haught, I know I’m the last person you want to be with right now, but I do worry about you. Even when you think you’re this big and strong cop who can take care of herself, you’re still hurt. And broken.”

“You’re one to talk,” Nicole rolled her eyes and rose from the bed, “I can smell the alcohol on your breath from here.”

“Cut the crap, Haught.” Wynonna snapped. “I’m tired of this bullshit. You come crying to me, saying how you forgive me and want to put this shit behind us so we can get her back, but then you act like you hate me. Pick a side and stick to it. For her.”

“Since when are there teams here? Am I not allowed to feel emotion? Experience anger? Guilt? Grieving?” Nicole walked over to Waverly’s vanity, inspecting the various pictures taped to the mirror and pieces of jewelry thrown haphazardly onto the surface.  _ So unlike her. _

“What I’m saying is to get your head out of your ass and stick to your word. You know she would be telling you the same exact thing.” Wynonna folded her arms and watched Nicole as she dragged her fingers over the wooden vanity surface.

“You can’t even say her name, can you?” It wasn’t asked with malicious intent, her voice soft.

“It’s...hard.” Wynonna replied, matching Nicole’s tone of voice. “Feels like deepthroating hot nails.”

“Not an image I needed in my mind, thanks,” Nicole grimaced.

“You can’t say it either.” Wynonna said, knowing if Nicole denied it she’d be lying. She’s heard the screams, the late night cries that shattered her heart from downstairs.

“I can think it...but when I say it-” Nicole shook her head and swallowed hard. “It’s too much.”

Wynonna didn’t respond. She didn’t know what to say and feared making matters worse for the both of them. Silence was the one thing that seemed to make this entire situation seem tolerable. When they didn’t talk about it, they could ignore it and pretend there was no issue. When they were silent, they could communicate better than they could with words. Wynonna watched as Nicole scanned Waverly’s jewelry with her eyes, touching every ring and necklace she could see.

One of the things Nicole began doing after moving onto the Homestead was taking pieces of Waverly’s jewelry and putting it on, wearing it throughout the day or just when at home. It made Wynonna want to vomit when she realized what she was doing, but she realized that maybe the only way for Nicole to feel closer to Waverly was through stealing her things for the time being.

_ If it helps her stay together and makes it easier to get her back then..so be it _ .

Nicole reached for a delicate silver necklace with a small origami swan hanging from the chain, examining it in the palm of her hand. She gently rubbed her thumb over the coarse metal and sighed. She had never seen Waverly wear it more than a handful of times, but it clearly had value to her. Nicole unbuttoned her shirt, letting it hang loosely around her torso, and stared at herself in the mirror as she brought the necklace up to her neck.

Wynonna noticed the tears in Nicole’s eyes from behind her own and walked over to her friend, placing a hand on her shoulder. Nicole stopped, meeting Wynonna’s eyes in the mirror and furrowed her brows as Wynonna shook her head.

“Don’t wear that one.” She said with a sharp tone, anger directed at the necklace rather than her friend. “It was Willa’s.”

“Then why did she keep it…?” Nicole questioned when Wynonna placed the necklace back on the vanity.

“Because she’s... _ Waverly _ .” Wynonna stared at the necklace before stepping back, silence hanging over them as the smaller woman’s name echoed in their ears for the first time in weeks.

Feeling a sob bubbling up in her throat, Wynonna pushed through her tears and grabbed another necklace from the vanity. It was the golden one, with a deer head and antlers on it. “Wear this one.”

Nicole took the necklace and looked down at it, clenching her jaw as she remembered the times before when she had stolen the necklace from Waverly. It was something she had grown extremely familiar with, and something she had refrained from wearing up until this moment. It was just too painful.

“I’ve seen you wear this one before, you giant dork,” Wynonna gently nudged Nicole with her shoulder. “And she always likes it when you do.”

Nicole sucked in a sharp breath and gave up trying to hold back her tears. Warm salty tears fell from her eyes, some landing on her palm and the necklace. It glistened in the dim light from behind her tears. Wynonna watched intently, struggling to think of what to say.

“I miss her, Wynonna.” Nicole finally managed to say. “And I-I know it’s stupid because you miss her too, but I can’t help but feel like this is all my fault. I should have been there. I should have been better.” The necklace weighed heavy in her palm, almost as heavy as that stupid ring felt in her back pocket.

Wynonna took the necklace out of her hand and fastened it around her neck.

“It doesn’t matter what you did or didn’t do before, Haught.” She caught the redhead’s eye in the mirror. “It’s about what you’re doing now. The past doesn’t matter. It’s the future that’s more important.”

Nicole stared at Wyonna’s reflection. “When the fuck did you get so... _ wise _ ?”

“I’ve had time to think.” Wynonna chuckled softly. “And I think that uppercut to the face you gave me cleared up my head a bit.”

“Well  _ somebody _ needed to do it.” Nicole stated simply and turned around to face her friend.

“You know she would kill you if she knew you did that, right?” Wynonna raised an eyebrow.

“Please,” Nicole rolled her eyes, “she’d kill me if I didn’t, either.”

“Yeah, but...to the face?” Wynonna winced at the memory and looked up at Nicole.

“Actually, I think she might even be on my side here. Since you, y’know... _ drugged the sheriff _ .”

“Yeah, something tells me that wasn’t my brightest moment.” Wynonna’s face resumed its somber position. She looked down at her boots and lightly kicked the floor. “I just didn’t want you to watch me fail. Losing her with you by my side would have been my worst fuckup ever. But losing her..and Doc...it’s just-”

Nicole pulled her into a tight hug, placing a hand on the back of her head and grabbing a fistful of leather with the other. They both took a shuttery breath and released it, tears raining down their cheeks. Wynonna’s head stayed buried in Nicole's shoulder as she cried out in anguish, cursing herself for letting Waverly slip through her fingers. Nicole stood still, silent, and tall. She held Wynonna as tightly as she could, feeling the cold of the necklace press into her hot skin.

Things were constantly falling apart around them, and those damn antlers were all she had left.


End file.
